


And The Reason Is You

by TableForThree



Category: Emblem3, X Factor (US) RPF
Genre: Anorexia, Depression, M/M, Self Harm, Top!Wesley, bottom!drew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 02:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1370497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TableForThree/pseuds/TableForThree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Say What You Mean" and "Two Weeks Without Drew" (BOTH STORIES FOUND ON <a href="http://www.wattpad.com/user/TableForThree">WATTPAD</a>). Drewsley. The boys head to the X-Factor. Wesley and Drew deal with their non-existent sex life and the scrutiny from their growing number of fans. Keaton just wants them to be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And The Reason Is You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this story was SUPPOSED to be posted on Wattpad but the bloody site wouldn't let me because it has smut in it. So here it is, sorry if the change in site is inconveniencing anyone! 
> 
> Okay, so. This is basically the last of the series? Just to wrap things up. I lost motivation near the end and that's why this took so long, because it technically isn't finished. But I got some really nice anons on tumblr asking me to post what I had, so this is it.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been reading, I don't think I'll write anymore Emblem3 fanfictions or continue this one. I've pretty much moved right into the One Direction fandom so my writing is mainly focused on that. 
> 
> WARNING: smut in this story. 
> 
> Enjoy!

"AUDITIONS ARE TODAY! GET UP, GET UP, GET UP!"

Wesley groaned and shifted, yanking his pillow out from under his head and putting it over his face, hoping to drown out his shouting younger brother. The arm flung over his waist tightened, and he was pulled up against Drew's chest, who nuzzled his shoulder sleepily. "Make him go away."

"You do it," Wesley muttered, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep in Drew's arms. 

"If you hadn't stayed up all night fucking, you wouldn't be so tired," Keaton said cheekily.

"We didn't fuck, you brat," Wesley cracked an eye open to see his younger brother standing beside his bed and flung his pillow at him. It missed. "We just fell asleep like this. Ten more minutes."

He rolled over and buried his face into Drew's chest, sighing when the arms around him tightened. For a moment he thought Keaton had left and he allowed himself to start slipping back into sleep, but then the blankets were ripped off them, exposing them to the cool morning air.

"Get the fuck up, lovebirds, I'm not missing our audition because you two are big babies," Keaton said cheerfully, ignoring the stream of curses coming from Wesley and the annoyed glare from Drew.

"Alright, alright, we're up," Wesley carefully disentangled himself from Drew and rolled over, getting himself up sluggishly and shuffling towards the door to get to the bathroom. "You're a bloody brat."

He left the room just as Keaton jumped on the bed, fighting a smile at Drew's loud yell and then at the obvious sounds of play fighting that drifted to him. Wesley only shook his head and locked himself in the bathroom, relieving his bladder and washing his hands before staring at himself in the mirror.

They'd almost done it last night. They'd almost broken the no sex rule. 

It'd been a close thing. Wesley had felt that he was ready and things had started off slow. The kisses had been soft and the touches had been loving. But as soon as Drew's hands had gotten anywhere near Wesley's boxers, the brunet had burst into tears, pushed the older boy away and curled up into a ball, refusing to calm down until both of them were fully clothed. Drew had held him tightly and pressed kisses to his temple, promising that it was okay and that Wesley didn't need to feel bad because he couldn't give himself fully to the blond.

It didn't stop him from feeling guilty. 

Wesley sighed and ran a hand through his hair before reaching for his tooth brush. He shouldn't feel so bloody melancholy- they had auditions for the X-Factor today and he needed to be pumped if he wanted to perform well.

Besides, he and Drew had years and years to have sex again. They'd get there eventually.

OoO

"Boys, this is Vincent Thomas," a lady who seemed like she was in charge but hadn't actually introduced herself said, gesturing to a boy beside her that looked like he was about fifteen. "We want to shoot a few scenes where you guys talk to each other, just to show how friendly everyone is here. Can you do that?"

Wesley glanced at Keaton and Drew before shrugging. It would be no hardship, he supposed, to carry a conversation with the kid while the camera crew filmed them. It'd probably help distract him from the nerves, anyway. They were due to go on and perform soon, and he was so anxious he was almost shaking.

"Right," the woman gestured to the spare seat beside Drew and gave Vincent a look. "Go sit there, and just talk about… anything, really. Singing, or something."

The woman walked away, heels clicking against the polished wooden floors. Vincent collapsed into the seat next to Drew and sent the three boys a hesitant smile, something that only Keaton returned. 

"Alright," one of the camera crew said. "Three, two, one…"

Vincent turned to them and started to introduce himself, and they found out he was actually in his twenties, despite his teen appearance. At first it was easy for Wesley to smile and make nice with the kid, but soon Vincent started to get on his nerves, going on and on about how he'd toured with a boy band and how awesome it was. Wesley nodded and made agreeing noises where it was necessary, but he honestly felt like telling the kid to shut the hell up and go away. 

It annoyed him that they were being categorized as a boy band, just because they were all young attractive males. That didn't mean their sound was poppy like One Direction, not that there was anything wrong with that. He just didn’t want to be labelledsomething he wasn't.

And besides, they wrote their own songs and played their own instruments. They weren't a boy band. 

His only comfort was that Drew was making it very obvious that he didn't give a shit about Vincent's stories either.

Wesley found himself struggling not to laugh when the blond didn't even bother to make eye contact, slumping down in his chair and fiddling with his phone, not listening to a word Vincent said. 

When the camera crew decided they'd filmed enough and Vincent had wandered off, Drew leant over and muttered quietly, "up himself, much?"

Wesley snorted with laughter and covered his mouth. Keaton leaned over his older brother in order to slap Drew's arm, looking offended. "You two are mean," he told them sternly, brows furrowed. "He seemed nice."

"He also seemed a little bit too interested in Wes," Drew glanced around before grabbing Wesley's arm and dragging him from the chair. "I think I might have to reclaim my territory, if only to make myself feel better."

Wesley laughed and allowed himself to be pulled towards a bathroom, but when they were locked inside and Drew had pushed him against a wall, he held up his hands in surprise. "Woah, wait, were you being serious?"

"I'm always serious," Drew leaned forward and kissed him hard.

Wesley returned the kiss for a few moments before breaking away, trying to find his breath as Drew moved his mouth down to the brunet's throat. "You don't actually think he was hitting on me, right? He was just being friendly for the cameras."

"Don't care," Drew said shortly, teeth finding a sensitive spot and nipping. Wesley's breath caught and he tried to push the other away half-heartedly.

"Drew, you're going to leave a mark…"

"So?"

The blond bit a little harder this time, and Wesley fought not to let his legs buckle. He pressed his palms against Drew's chest and pushed more firmly. "Come on, Chadwick, if I leave this bathroom with a giant hickey we might as well just tell everyone we're a couple."

Drew allowed himself to be pushed back, but he still stayed close, one hand reaching up to tug at a stray bit of brunet hair that was peeking out from under Wesley's cap. "Then why don't we?"

Wesley breathed out through his nose, fixing the other with a mildly irritated look. "We've been over this before. If we want the band to be successful-"

"Then we have to act like we're straight and single so we can appeal to the teenage girls," Drew cut in dryly. "Right, I know."

Wesley rolled his eyes and pulled the blond down for a quick kiss before going over to the mirror to make sure there were no marks on his neck. He wasn't okay with their relationship being kept a secret either, but what were they supposed to do? As much as it made him uncomfortable- because it reminded him all too well of three years ago when their fake 'relationship' had been kept secret, solely because Drew was hiding from him the fact that they weren't together at all- it had to be done.

"Once we're popular enough, we could probably come out to the public. If we make it really well known that we support gay rights, by the time we're ready, most of our fans will probably be okay with it."

"And if we don't end up being popular?" Drew asked standing behind him and wrapping an arm around him.

"Then we come out anyway," Wesley shrugged, turning so they were face to face one he was satisfied that he hadn’t been marked. He paused and reached up to pat Drew's cheek when he realized the other teen had a deeply unsatisfied look on his face. "Cheer up, Drew. It's only for a little while."

The blond sighed and pulled him closer. "We'll see."

OoO

Wesley's back hit the wall of his bedroom and caused the picture frame hanging on it above his head to wobble. He didn't pay attention, more focused on the hot mouth devouring his own, the large hands that tugged insistently at his hair. He groaned into Drew's mouth, fingers scrabbling for something, anything to pull the other closer. He grabbed a handful of the blond's shirt, yanking on it and shuddering when their bodies collided. 

"We made it," he gasped when the kiss broke, tilting his head back to rest against the white wall and baring his neck in invitation. "We're going to Boot Camp."

"I know that," Drew chuckled low in his throat, mouth moving lower. "You've said it about a thousand times."

"Sorry, I-" he bit back a sharp noise and closed his eyes when teeth scraped along his jugular. "I… uhm… shit, I forgot what I was saying."

Drew's hands drifted to grab his hips, keeping them loosely pinned against the wall as he teasingly nibbled in one spot. Wesley fought the urge to pant, fingers gripping the blond's shirt so tightly that his knuckles went white. "Good," Drew muttered against his throat, finally moving down to bite gently on the spot where his neck met his shoulder. 

Wesley shuddered, a moan slipping out before he could stop it. He was hot and hard, erection pressing insistently against the front of his jeans, and he desperately wanted some kind of release. Drew was being rough with him and it was so damn arousing, and also kept his mind from thinking about bad things. From going back three years ago. Because back then, Drew had only ever been excruciatingly gentle, and Wesley would most likely never be able to be handled gently again.

Drew didn't know this, of course. He was probably only being rough because of how sexually frustrated he must feel, being able to kiss and touch Wesley but go no further than that. He never complained, but the brunet could tell it was getting stressful. 

Wesley grabbed at Drew's sides, yanking him forwards until their erections clashed, and then he was grinding his hips. It felt so good and so dirty, and the blond was groaning softly into his neck. Hands slid to the back of his thighs, lifting him up so he could wrap his legs around Drew's waist.

He wanted to. He wanted to go all the way so badly, needed it badly. They both needed it. But when he opened his mouth to say so, to give the other permission, he remembered the night before where they'd tried and failed. He remembered how he'd been inconsolable for hours, how he'd been unable to force himself through it. Then his mind switched back to three years ago, ripping him from his aroused haze. 

The pleasure he'd been feeling abruptly switched to panic and hurt, and he shoved hard at Drew's shoulders, body twisting. "Fuck, let me down!"

Drew dropped him almost immediately, steadying him so he didn't fall, and then taking a step back so they weren't touching. Wesley breathed heavily, covering his face with his hands, grateful because he wouldn’t be able to handle being touched. 

"Wes, are you okay?" Drew asked softly, still panting.

"I'm sorry," he pressed his back to the wall and slid down so he was sitting, keeping his face covered. "Shit, Drew, I'm so sorry. Why do I keep doing this?"

"Hey," the blond's voice was soothing, and he dropped down to sit next to Wesley, close but still not touching. "It's not your fault, you know that. If anyone's to blame, I am."

"No, stop saying that," Wesley hunched over, trying to ignore the way his chest ached so badly that he wanted to cry. "It's not your fault anymore… I'm just.. God, I'm just weak."

"You're not weak, Wesley," Drew said quietly. "I was the one who was weak. Listen, don't feel bad, okay? I can handle it. I'm waiting until whenever you're ready, whether it be ten minutes from now or ten years from now."

Wesley shook his head, still not looking up. He shut his eyes tightly against the tears gathering and forced out the worry that had been on his mind ever since they'd gotten together. "No one can wait that long, Drew. I… If I don't hurry up and give you want you want, eventually you're going to get sick of me."

"Don't you ever say that again," Drew's voice was sharp, and he was tugging Wesley's hands away from his face roughly. He forced the brunet to look up at him, and his eyes were narrowed, both angry and sad. "Don't you dare say that again, Wesley."

The eighteen year old met his eyes for a brief moment before it was too much, and he looked down at the floor. "But it's true." His voice dropped to a mutter, embarrassed at how weak he felt. 

"No, it's not!" Drew took his hands and squeezed a little too tightly, but Wesley didn't complain, didn't even wince. "Jesus Christ. Wes, I love you. I will never, ever get sick of you, okay? So don't you dare go around thinking that I will."

Wesley closed his eyes, his body starting to tremble despite how frantically he was trying to control it. "I'm sorry."

"Come here," Drew sighed, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close. Wesley pressed his head against the blond's chest and listened to the steady thrumming of the nineteen year old's heart. He was close to bursting into tears, but he forced them back as much as he could. 

"I'm sorry," he repeated, voice barely audible. 

Drew's mouth pressed against the top of his head, and his arms tightened around Wesley's torso. "Not as sorry as I am."

Wesley let out a sob.

OoO

"Oh, Drew! You're here again!" Mrs Stromberg let out a surprised little laugh as she walked into the kitchen, clutching her chest as if the sight of the bulky teenager standing at the oven had scared her. "Have you even been home? Your mother surely misses you."

"We've gotta get as much practice as we can in before we go to Boot Camp, Mom," Wesley answered before Drew had the chance to, barely glancing up from his Doodle Jump game on his phone. "He's staying here for the week and then Keaton and I are staying at his place next week. Didn't I already tell you that?"

"Must have slipped my mind, dear," the woman wandered over and pressed a kiss to his forehead, something he tolerated without lifting his eyes from the screen. "Drew, sweetheart, I hope you didn't cook for me, I'm not going to be here."

"No problem, Keaton will probably eat it all anyway," Drew smiled at her before going back to the meal he'd been making. He had been appointed the official chef of the house by Keaton some time ago, and the blond seemed to take the title very seriously.

"Where are you going?" Wesley asked, looking up at his mother when he lost his game. He noticed how upbeat she looked, along with the light make up, sweet dress and the way her hair fell nicely around her shoulders. "Why are you all dressed up?"

"I'm going on a date," she told him with a pleased little smile, reaching out to pick up her car keys and dropping them into her purse. "Oh, and I'm going to be late, too, if I don't get a move on. Don't stay up too late, boys, and for God's sake, keep Keaton away from the fridge while I'm gone."

Wesley grunted noncommittally, waiting until she'd kissed his cheek and swept out of the room before slumping over in his chair and staring moodily at the table. His mother was dating. She hadn't dated since Wesley and Keaton were much younger, and the brunet found he didn't like the idea of some guy going near his mother. How was he supposed to deal with it if the guy turned out to be a jerk and hurt her? Or worse, if he stuck around for a long time and they got married? A step father was very high on Wesley's list of things he didn't want.

"Doing okay?" Drew asked quietly, once the sound of Mrs Stromberg's car had faded into the distance. The woman didn't know about their relationship- only Keaton, Kyle, Kenny and Tracy did- but they'd tell her. Soon.

Wesley grunted again and closed his eyes when the blond approached, running his hand through the brunet's soft hair. He welcomed the touch and let it distract him, anything to keep him thinking about what his mother was getting up to. "When's dinner?" he asked quietly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"It's-"

"I smell food!" Keaton shouted, and the sound of him stomping down the stairs could be heard a mile away. The light brunet appeared in the doorway, grinning ear to ear. "Dinner is ready, isn't it?"

"It's scary how he does that," Drew muttered, eliciting a laugh from Wesley, before he turned back to the oven and said in a louder voice, "yes, it's ready, kid. Go sit at the table."

"Aye, aye, captain!" Keaton seemed to be in a very hyperactive mood, dropping down into a chair but immediately fidgeting, unable to keep still. He bounced his knee and glanced around, humming distractedly under his breath. Wesley figured the younger teen hadn't heard about what their mother was up to that night yet.

"What's up with you?" Wesley asked, frowning a little at how twitchy his brother seemed.

"Nothing, just super pumped, almost clocked my game," Keaton let out a appreciative sound when Drew put a plate in front of him, and he jumped out of his seat to press a sloppy kiss to the blond's cheek. "Thanks, Drew!"

Wesley stared at his brother incredulously, feeling the tiniest twinge of jealously before pushing it away. His brother sure was jumpy and weird, but he sometimes got in these moods, so he was kind of used to it. The kid had probably had an abundance of sugar earlier.

Drew wiped his cheek and sent Wesley a look, eyebrow raised. Before he could say anything though, Keaton was talking a million miles a minute, shoving food into his mouth as fast as he could. "So, I've nearly reached the level with the boss, right, and my character has about half his hit points, right. I think I'll make it if I upgrade my weapon, but that means killing more monsters and-"

Wesley, who'd returned his eyes to his phone and stopped paying attention, almost sighed in relief when Keaton's rambling abruptly cut off. Just as he'd relaxed, though, he heard a distressed noise and looked up. His little brother was clutching his throat and looking panicked, obviously struggling to breathe. 

"Keaton!" Wesley jumped to his feet, his chair clattering to the ground behind him. He couldn't do anything more, though, because Drew had already reached Keaton's side and was wrapping his arms around him.

It took a few tries, but Drew never faltered, swiftly giving the boy the Heimlich manoeuvre before Wesley could even comprehend what was happening. Eventually Keaton coughed up what had been lodged in his throat and he took a huge gulp of air, slumping over in Drew's arms.

"Keaton, jesus, are you okay?" the blond lowered him to the floor, turning the light brunet's face towards him.  

The boy only nodded, still taking deep breaths as if to make up for the stolen ones moments ago. Wesley dropped to his knees beside them both, still in shock from what had happened. It'd been so quick that he'd barely been able to move. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" he admonished, his panic turning to anger. "You need to eat slower, you idiot!"

Keaton turned red, watery eyes on him and reached out, grabbing his hand. "I'm sorry, Wes." His voice was scratchy and sounded painful.

Wesley immediately felt guilty, and he pulled his brother into a hug. "Don't you ever do that again. You scared the shit out of me."

He made eye contact with Drew over Keaton's shoulder, and his chest felt pleasantly weird at the concerned look on the blond's face. He shifted around his brother and leaned up, kissing the older teen hard. 

"Can't wait till I'm out of the room?" Keaton complained from between them, coughing harshly at the end of his question.

Wesley ignored him, pulling back and staring at his boyfriend. "You saved him. Thank you."

Drew pulled him back for another kiss- causing Keaton to groan and crawl away from them- and smiled against his lips. "He's my brother too, you know."

"Mm," Wesley allowed himself a smile before he turned a glare on his younger brother, although he still addressed his next words to Drew. "Then you'll help me murder Kenny, because it's obvious that he's high right now and that bastard is the only person Keaton could have gotten the shit from."

"Gladly," Drew murmured.

"My throat hurts," Keaton complained.

OoO

"So," Drew cleared his throat uncomfortably, looking between the three people in his life who meant the most to him. 

Wesley was slumped over on the couch next to him, looking normal to most but tense to anyone who payed enough attention. Keaton was in the recliner a little ways away tapping on his phone, and Zach was sitting uncomfortably on the other side of Drew, shooting him looks every now and again. It was the first time he, Zach and Wesley had been together in three years, and it was the first time Zach and Keaton had really interacted.

"So," Zach echoed, frowning just a little. "Not entirely sure what's going on here, mate. I get back from charity work with Dad and these two are at your party, and you haven't really explained since then."

Wesley stiffened beside him and Drew bit back a groan. He hated it when the brunet was forced into these kind of situations, because it always put the younger teen in a bad mood and then it was harder to get him to eat, and harder to get him to smile. 

"Seriously?" Keaton spoke up, looking up from his phone. "You don't know anything that's happened in like, the past year?"

"Like I said, I was away with Dad," Zach shrugged. He seemed a bit relieved that someone other than Drew had spoken to him. "I tried to get this wanker here to explain to me, but I had to leave again and he refused to tell me over the phone."

"You know how much that would have costed?" Drew pointed out, relaxing a little bit and easing into their friendship like it hadn't been temporarily paused ever since Zach had left. "It's a fucking long story and I wasn't going to waste that kind of money."

It used to annoy Drew, that little over a week after they'd gotten back from the Dominican Republic, Zach and Sean had gone off overseas on another charity mission. They'd offered to bring Drew but he'd already made plans to seek Wesley out and somehow apologize, and he'd already sorted things out to move back in with his mother. Still, he could have used his best friend's advice throughout the past year or so, but he couldn't exactly ask for advice on Wesley without giving away private details.

Eventually he'd gotten over it. Drew had worked things out on his own and now he was comfortable and happy. His and Wesley's relationship was strong, not counting the little mishaps they tended to have with their sex life, and they were off to Boot Camp in a few days. Zach had returned a week ago and Drew was definitely ready to have his best friend back in his life. He knew Wesley wasn't so sure about it, but the brunet had been willing to try so that was a start.

"Parts of it are probably better said in person rather than over the phone," Keaton added, interrupting Drew's thoughts. 

"Right," Zach nodded, and his eyes flicked over to where Wesley and Drew were sitting close together. They weren't doing anything remotely romantic, but it still felt like Zach knew exactly what was going on between them. "So, is anyone going to start or are we just going to sit here…?"

Drew thought back and tried to remember how much Zach knew, so he could figure out where to start. "Well, I told you when we got back from the Dominican Republic that I was going to go to Wesley's Halloween party and try to apologize, right?"

Wesley startled at his name, and he turned his head to glance at Drew. "You went to the party specifically to apologize to me?"

Drew shrugged sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah."

"But you didn't even apologize," Wesley pointed out dryly.

"I figured the party probably wasn't the best time," the blond frowned a little. "And then that chick showed up and scared you off."

Wesley rolled his eyes and leaned back against the couch. Zach was watching them with an amused expression. "I remember," he said, answering Drew's question like Wesley and Drew's exchange hadn't happened.

"Yeah, well, obviously that turned out to be a bust," Drew glanced at Wesley hesitantly. The brunet had agreed to telling Zach everything, but the older teen still felt a little bad that he was going to tell someone who was essentially a stranger to Wesley all about Wesley's life.

Wesley caught his look and gave him a small, reassuring smile. 

"Okay, so," Drew took the encouragement and tried to work out how to put his experiences into words. "Keaton invited me to hang out a couple of weeks afterwards and I managed to talk to Wesley there, but it kind of turned into a fight."

Keaton and Wesley both smirked at this, the younger one commenting, "you two fought a lot back then. Like cats and dogs."

"That's to be expected," Zach said with a raised eyebrow. "After everything that happened."

"Yeah," Drew gave a short, nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't really want to talk about the past year. Didn't want to bring all his failures up, how he hadn't been able to stop Wesley from ending up in the hospital, how he hadn't picked up on Keaton's cutting fast enough. But Zach was his best friend. "Keaton asked me to form a band with them and I kinda jumped at the chance, but at our first practise-"

"We fought again and I kissed him," Wesley interrupted in a decidedly neutral tone, eyes focused out the window. "You're taking too long, Drew."

Zach's eyebrows had risen quite a bit. "Well, okay. Uhm. Thought you would have hated him back then."

"I did," Wesley turned his head and looked Zach in the eyes for the first time that day. "Didn't mean there wasn't something still left over between us, though. It wasn't exactly the most romantic kiss of my life, if that makes any difference."

"He kicked me out straight afterwards," Drew added, and then hesitated. "Uh, you were there when Wesley stopped eating, so you already know about his anorexia…"

"Yeah, I remember, he got really skinny and had that big relapse and you had to tell Keaton about it," Zach frowned a little. "But Wesley got better. I remember hearing from a girl in my class that he'd gained a lot of weight back while we were in the Dominican Republic." 

"I had another relapse," Wesley said shortly. "Not that you can really blame me, considering Drew practically forced his way back into my life."

Drew winced at this, but Wesley's fingertips brushed over his jean clad thigh once and he figured the brunet wasn't accusing him. 

"Oh," Zach said, looking between them.

"I wanted to, I dunno, make it up to him," Drew explained sheepishly. "And when he went through his relapse I decided I would try to help him through it."

"Good thing you have magic powers," Keaton said, looking up from where he'd gone back to his phone. "I mean, no one else was able to get him to eat."

Drew knew that Keaton was a little twisted up over that. The first time Wesley had gone through his anorexia, Keaton managed to get him to eat eventually. But when Drew had gotten back from the Republic and Wesley had relapsed, Keaton's begging did nothing. Only Drew could convince Wesley and Keaton had been a little upset about it.

 "Well, I'm glad anyway," the blond said after a moment, fingertips brushing over the back of Wesley's hand. "If it got him to eat, I'm glad."

Keaton smiled over at him and there was a short silence before Zach puffed out a breath. "So? How did this happen, then?" he asked, indicating towards Drew and Wesley's hands that were lightly touching.

"These two idiots got into the mother of all fights," Keaton answered before Drew could open his mouth. "I mean like a screaming, throwing against the wall kinda fight."  

Drew winced at the memory. He'd always felt guilty for manhandling Wesley. Those moments had always been leftover anger issues bubbling to the surface and erasing his common sense. He reached out and took Wesley's hand fully in his own, twining their fingers together in a silent apology. The brunet glanced over at him and smiled, so he figured the younger teen had no hard feelings over it. 

"Not surprising," Zach muttered.

"Wesley left, Drew and I stayed inside to wait for him to get back but he didn't," Keaton paused with a frown. "Then we got a call that he was in the hospital after being hit by a car. Only minor injuries but it was a wake up call that we were being too complacent with him."

"I let him in after that," Wesley continued for Keaton, still not looking at Zach and instead out the window. He'd said earlier that eye contact was difficult to maintain, especially with people he didn't know very well. "Stopped pushing him away and let him help. Wanted to stop hurting Keat, so…"

Zach nodded and Drew squeezed Wesley's hand. "He stopped hating me so much," the blond fought a smile, remembering how the younger teen had slowly opened up to him, very hesitantly started to trust him. "Except I kinda ruined it and kissed him."

Zach raised an eyebrow, looking between them. "So you did have feelings for him, then."

Drew shrugged. "Yeah."

"Then Drew kissed him again a couple days later," Keaton chimed in, looking up from his phone with a smirk. "Really put the pressure on Wesley. Freaked him the fuck out."

"Then Kyle came along," Drew shook his head in vague annoyance. He and Kyle were on okay terms but he still got a little angry thinking about the time the other boy had kissed Wesley. "You remember Kyle, right Zach?"

"Yeah, him and that smiley kid always hung around Wesley," Zach said.

Wesley snorted with laughter before covering his mouth and looking surprised at himself. His cheeks reddened lightly before he glanced over at Zach. "Sorry. Uhm. Best description I've ever heard of Kenny. Carry on."  

"Anyway, turns out Kyle had a thing for Wesley and he tried to get into him," Drew's hand tightened its grip on Wesley's unconsciously. "Took him on a couple of dates."

"Which we sabotaged," Keaton added with a tiny smirk. "Drew accidentally let slip that we'd fucked up the dates and those two had another spat. I ended up getting sick of it and told Drew to man the fuck up and realize he was in love with Wes."

"Which, you know, was the kick in the ass I needed," Drew shrugged, thumb brushing over Wesley's fingers. "I started admitting I was a fucking goner and Keaton agreed to help me fuck up Kyle's chances."

"Didn't have a chance in the first place," Wesley muttered quietly, but Drew caught it and a smile tugged at his lips.

"And then I convinced Wesley to go talk to Drew and sort their shit out, because I'm just that awesome," Keaton grinned.

"Which of course turned into another fight," Wesley added softly, looking a little nervous at adding to the story but doing so anyway. Zach was looking between the three of them with a bemused expression but didn't interrupt.

"But it ended with a kiss," Drew fought down a laugh at that. "And I admitted to having feelings for him, so there's that."

Wesley was smiling now, shaking his head. "We started getting along again and a little while later I forgave him for everything."

Zach let out a whistle. "Modern day love story you two got going on right there."

Keaton snorted. "Don't encourage them."

"Anyway," Drew continued with a small grin. "A couple of months later I left to visit my grandparents for a fortnight and we ended up getting together once I got back. And that's it really."

Zach glanced between them before shrugging, a smile tugging at his lips. "Well, now I get why you wouldn't just tell me the whole story over Facebook. And you guys look happy, so… Yeah. Good for you two."

There was a pause and then an almighty crash from upstairs, followed by a high pitched shriek. "Keaton Robert Stromberg! You get up here right now!"

"Fuck," Keaton whispered, shoving his phone in his pocket and looking up with a fearful look.

"What the hell did you do?" Wesley asked, holding back a laugh.

"I think she may have found the kitten I was harbouring in my room," Keaton admitted, wincing when their mother yelled for him again.

"You were keeping a kitten in your room?" Zach asked with an incredulous expression.

"Don’t even ask," Wesley told him, grinning full out at Keaton now. "Mom is going to fucking kill you, dude."

"Wesley!" their mother screamed. "You too, young man! Both of you up here now!"

"Aha," Keaton pointed at Wesley triumphantly, but it was half hearted. Both brothers stood up and hurried upstairs, leaving Drew and Zach alone.

"A kitten?" Zach asked, still looking incredulous.

Drew shrugged. "One of Keaton's friends offered him a free kitten, he asked if he could and their mom said no. So he took it anyway and kept it a secret. Honestly I'm surprised they weren't caught sooner."

They both glanced upwards when they heard female yelling, but neither of them felt particularly up to going up there. "Well, then," Zach said with a shake of his head. "Your life must be pretty fucking weird."

"Weird, but good," Drew said easily, leaning back into the couch. They were both quiet before the blond sighed. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," Zach said, glancing at him curiously.

"Those two years after I fucked Wesley over and before we got back from the Republic. How come you were so adamant on me never thinking about him again?" Drew asked. 

Zach sighed and looked away, fingers fiddling with the material of the couch. "Dude, you were acting so fucking weird, it scared the shit out of me. I just… I didn't want you to be unhappy. Wesley seemed to make you miserable, so…"

"I made myself miserable, it wasn't Wesley," Drew shook his head. "Listen, its okay now. I'm happy, I really am."

"I know," Zach said softly. "I haven't seen you smile like this in years."

They both looked at each other in silence for a few moments before Wesley came down the stairs laughing and broke the moment. "I pretended to be innocent and got out of it," the brunet grinned, automatically going over to Drew and flopping down next to him. "But Keaton is in so much shit. Mom is absolutely furious at him."

"Good thing we're leaving soon," Drew said with a grin, and Wesley smiled at him.

OoO

Keaton glanced over uncomfortably at Drew, a worried frown of his face. He wanted to move closer to the blond and wrap a comforting arm around him, but surely that was Wesley's job? The two were boyfriends, after all. But Wesley had been a little ticked off at the eldest boy lately- something about a hickey too high up to be covered- and he'd left to go raid food from the kitchen a little while ago.

Figuring the job had been left to him, Keaton scooted closer on the bed the two were sitting on in their shared bedroom, arm going around Drew's waist. "Hey, man. You okay?"

Drew was stiff, staring out the window and not looking over at him. His face was expressionless, and he didn't do anything to return Keaton's embrace. "Fine."

The youngest boy sighed and shook his head. "So you screwed up your timing a little, who cares?" he nudged Drew's side, trying to get a reaction. "Look, we still sounded awesome and you recovered really well. They're probably impressed that you didn't fall to pieces at missing your cue."

"If we get kicked out," Drew bit out shortly, "then it'll be all my fault."

"Bullshit," Keaton returned, his tone light. "If we get kicked out, it'll be because our voices aren't to the standard they want, not because you made a tiny mistake that was easily rectified."

Drew blew air out of his mouth loudly, finally looking over at him. "Why aren't you angry with me? Wesley is."

"Wesley is angry because he's a prat that holds grudges," the brunet grinned and reached out to rest his hand on the other boy's knee. "And he's annoyed at you for not being careful about hiding your relationship, not because you missed your cue."

Drew stared at him for a moment before laying back down, folding his hands over his stomach. He stared up at the ceiling moodily, suddenly changing the subject. "What if we get kicked out because Simon decides we're too much of a risk?"

"Too much of a risk?" Keaton repeated. This was new, he hadn't heard this worry from his other band mates before.

"Wesley and I kind of…" Drew shifted a little before continuing. "We ended up telling him that we're dating, because we figured its something he should know, right? And we told him that we were going to keep it under wraps for the time being and he agreed with us that it'd be best, but he might decide that it's just too risky and kick us out."

Keaton squeezed the blond's knee tightly, turning his gaze out the window because watching the other was probably getting annoying. "Drew, we're good. You know we're good. We can break into the business without the X-Factor if need be, this is just kind of… giving us a jump start. And if Simon decides to drop us because he's a homophobe, then we'll just find someone else to sign us. It's as simple as that."

Drew was quiet for a while before he reached out and ran his fingers along Keaton's back, tracing random patterns. "I wish Kenny and Kyle were here."

Keaton blinked in surprise, glancing back at the other. "I thought you hated Kyle."

"I don't hate him," Drew rolled his eyes, making a face. "I just sort of don't like him because he kissed Wes, that's all. But it just feels kind of wrong without them."

"It was their decision," Keaton said quietly. Despite his intense dislike for Kyle, he missed the other two members of their band as well. But the X-Factor was a singing competition, and technically Kyle and Kenny weren't allowed in unless they sang as well, and both of them decided to just drop out. They'd both encouraged Wesley, Drew and Keaton to try out without them, though, and in the end they had. 

"Mm, but still," Drew closed his eyes, fingers still rubbing soothingly over Keaton's back. "If they were here, I just know what they'd be doing. Kenny would be surly because he doesn't have his weed, and Kyle would be bossing everyone around like usual."

Keaton chuckled and slapped the blond's leg playfully. "Just go call them, you sap."

Before Drew could say anything, the door to their shared bedroom was opening and Wesley slipped inside. He was holding a plate with a sandwich on it, and he thrust it carelessly at Keaton, not tearing his eyes away from the blond still on the bed. "Here's a sandwich, go eat it outside."

In other words,  _get out I want to talk to him alone_.

Keaton rolled his eyes and took the plate, obligingly moving away and stepping out of the room. Just as he was closing the door, he caught snippets of his two brothers'- well, brother and honorary brother but who cared- conversation. 

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be-"

"I messed up-"

"It's not your fault-"

"I'm sorry about the hickey-"

"I love you, you dick-"

Keaton shut the door firmly, smiling. He was in a band with two idiots, ones that he couldn't help but be fond of.

OoO

It seemed like a good plan at first- one Drew readily agreed to because it was needed and it was easy. All he had to do was pretend he was into someone like Demi Lovato, have a couple of interviews where he mentions how attractive she is and voila, he appears straight to the public. Easy, simple, necessary. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He should have realized, should have known. Wesley wouldn't ever be okay with anything like that, despite the fact he insisted on the plan and even threatened to ignore Drew if he didn't go through with it. But it seemed he was doing that anyway, because they'd just finished having an interview (in which Drew had blabbered on about Demi) and Wesley was no where to be seen.

"He's a dumbass."

Drew glanced to his right, seeing Keaton leaning causally against the wall. They'd been close for so long that the blond immediately knew what he was talking about, and responded in kind. "No, he's not. He's just stubborn. Probably didn't even realize he'd get jealous."

Keaton rolled his eyes and pushed off the wall, walking over to sit beside Drew on the comfy couch in the interview room. They were mostly being ignored by everyone, but they still kept their voices low. "Stubborn, dumbass, what's the difference? He can never handle you even looking at other people, he knows that."

Drew winced at that, remembering how the eldest Stromberg sibling, Brooke, had come home for a visit and Drew had jokingly flirted with her because he'd admitted to crushing on her years ago and Keaton was giving him shit about it. Wesley had gone quiet and moody for the rest of the night and blown up at the blond once they were alone, and Drew had promised never to do something like that again. He understood, really- after the shit he'd put Wesley through, it'd be hard for the brunet to see him looking even somewhat interested in anyone else.

And besides, he'd reacted the same way with Wesley and Kyle's little 'dates'. 

"Yeah, well…" Drew ran a hand through his hair tiredly, not quite knowing how to put his thoughts into words. "He's trying to look out for the band, because we have to have this 'straight' image or something, and us being together-"

"He does realize he's the only one in the band who gives a shit, right?" Keaton cut in, raising an eyebrow. "If people don't like our music because they don't like what happens in our private lives, then its their loss. Your relationship has nothing to do with our music."

"But Simon-"

"I know what Simon said," Keaton said sharply. "And I agree with him, yes, but if putting up a 'straight' image for the band puts too much stress on your relationship with my brother, then we're going to have to figure something else out."

Drew sighed, wondering how his honorary little brother had gotten so wise. He reached out and drew the smaller boy in for a quick but affectionate hug, pressing his lips to the kid's temple. "You know, I don't think Wes and I appreciate you enough."

"You're damn right about that," Keaton grinned up at him as they pulled away from each other. "Wesley's hiding in the changing rooms, by the way, if you want to go talk to him."

"Should I, though?" Drew worried, frowning. "I mean, he's really angry at me this time, I don't want to fight."

"He's going to be even angrier if you don't go to him," the light brunet rolled his eyes and pushed at Drew's arm, pointing towards the door. "Hurry up, Prince Charming. Your princess awaits."

The blond snorted as he finally stood, flicking the younger boy's forehead affectionately. "You better not be high again, dork."

"If only," Keaton muttered and Drew shot him a look before heading out towards the boys changing rooms for the groups. The room was maybe two minutes away and looked completely deserted now that they'd done their performances and interviews and were just waiting for their rides back to the Judge's Houses. The blond slipped inside and closed the door firmly behind him before stepping into the middle of the room and looking around.

Wesley was easy to find, he was just sitting in the corner on one of the benches, knees drawn up to his chest and staring blankly at the wall opposite him. He didn't look like he was crying, but the pained expression on his face made Drew feel guilty anyway.

"Wes," he called softly, but for once his younger boyfriend didn't react to the sound of his voice, and he was drawn back to so long ago, when he'd attempted to coax the brunet to eat after he'd fought with Keaton and he'd just been staring into space and not reacting. It had been the first time they'd hugged since the whole three years ago incident, and Drew was still a little in shock at how far they'd come. "Wesley, come on, look at me."

Still, the dark brunet refused to even twitch in his direction. He did sigh though, and mutter quietly, "why are you here?"

"What do you mean, why am I here?" Drew stepped closer and sat next to his boyfriend on the bench, not reaching out to touch just yet. He didn't know if the other boy would react positively or not. "I'm here because I fucking love you, you idiot."

Wesley let out an annoyed huff of air, expression shifting to vague irritation as he finally looked over and stared at Drew. "I told you to get all loved up about Demi," he bit out, arms tightening around his knees. "I threatened you when you refused, and now I get all angry at you when you do it. Why the fuck do you stick around, Drew? I'd be pissed if you pulled that kind of shit on me."

"You really think that after all we've been through together, I'd really just bugger off because I couldn't be bothered to deal with a little jealousy?" Drew asked quietly, making eye contact and refusing to look away. "It's my fault you can't handle it, Wes. I'm not going to be pissed at you."

Wesley looked ready to argue, but in the end he leaned over and punched Drew's shoulder, a slight smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, actually, it is your fault, you bloody jerk."

Taking the lift in mood as a sign, Drew finally reached out and touched, grabbing the other's hand and entwining their fingers. "Sorry," he said softly, and he thought he'd never stop apologizing, not even when they were old. He'd always be guilty, but he was okay with that. As long as Wesley was happy.

"Shut up," the brunet sighed, squeezing his hand. "Oh, and I fucking love you too."

Drew smiled and was just about to pull the other boy into a hug when there was a loud knock at the changing room door. They dropped hands and scooted a little apart, but it was just Keaton, sticking his head into the room and raising his eyebrows at them. "Our ride is here, I want to go to bed so hurry up." 

"You want to go to bed?" Wesley asked, standing and stretching. "It's not even that late, Keaton. Maybe if you didn't get up at ungodly hours of the morning, you wouldn't be so tired."

"Don't you know how long it takes him to get his hair perfect?" Drew asked teasingly, running his hand along Wesley's side before resigning himself to an hour or so of pretending to be just friends until they could get back to the relative privacy of their shared room. 

Keaton almost smiled at him before he realized he was being mocked, and he shot the blond a glare even as Wesley laughed. "You suck," he muttered as they stepped out of the changing rooms and started heading towards where they were being picked up. 

"Seriously, though, you spend so much time on your appearance," Drew pointed out. "How come you're the straight brother?"

"That's stereotypical," Wesley murmured softly, and they both winced, remembering how they'd had almost the exact same conversation three years ago. (But also a few months ago at the Halloween party so that kind of made it okay.) 

"Who the hell said I was straight?" Keaton asked,apparently not noticing their simultaneous wince and shooting him a look.

Drew almost stumbled, and if it weren't for Wesley grabbing his elbow at the last second he probably would have tripped over his own feet in shock. He normally would have thanked the dark brunet, but his focus was entirely on what the youngest boy had just said. "Wait, wait, what?"

"Keaton," Wesley said quietly, looking at his brother intently. "Are you gay?"

"No," the curly haired boy shrugged his shoulder, not seeming to understand how much of a shock this was for the other two. He seemed light hearted and uninterested, whereas Wesley and Drew were both shocked and serious. 

"Then…?"

"I don't really give a damn about gender," Keaton explained casually, although he kept his voice low as they passed a few of the other contestants. "I don't have a certain preference, anyone could catch my attention really."

"Isn't that just being bisexual?" Wesley deadpanned. 

"No," Keaton said simply. "I don't know how to explain it, but its not the same."

There was a pause and they stopped outside the doors that led to the parking lot with their ride in it. Keaton's calm exterior dropped and he looked suddenly anxious, teeth worrying his lower lip. "So, you guys are cool with it, right? I mean, I assumed you would be because you know, you're in a gay relationship, but…" He trailed off, looking fretfully nervous.

Wesley rolled his eyes and reached out to pull the younger boy into a quick hug. "I'm cool with it," he confirmed. "Do whatever you like. Actually, I'd prefer for you to date boys. Then I could beat them up without being a girl basher."

Drew perked up, delighting in the thought of joining up with Wesley in being protective older brothers over Keaton. "Actually, yeah, that sounds awesome. Date guys, Keat."

When Keaton was let go of and he stepped back, he gave both of them an exasperated look. "Never bringing a significant other home," he muttered, shaking his head and turning towards the door. "You two would scare them off for sure."

Wesley grinned and wrapped an arm around the boys shoulder, and Drew fell into step on the other side of the youngest boy. "You know you love us, Keat."

The smaller brunet huffed out a breath that almost definitely meant yes, but that he didn't want to admit it and then he changed the subject abruptly. "So, have you two sorted things out yet?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to stop going on about girls," Drew nodded as they made their way to the shiny black ute that had been sent to pick them up.  

"But we're supposed to be convincing people-" Wesley tried, but the blond didn't let him finish. 

"Babe, stop it," his tone forceful, Drew grabbed the older brunet's arm to stop him climbing into the ute and stepped closer so the no one other than Keaton could overhear them. "If I keep doing it, you're just going to get jealous again and the same thing will happen. Let Keaton gush about girls for a while."

Wesley stared at him for a moment, hazel eyes dark. Eventually he let out a sigh and pulled his arm out of Drew's grip. "Fine. As long as you promise never to call me 'babe' again."

"I'm afraid I can't promise that," Drew said cheerfully, getting in beside Wesley, with Keaton climbing in on the other side. The blond leaned into his boyfriend and breathed quietly, "babe."

He took great delight in the way Wesley's cheeks flushed even as the brunet snapped at him. 

OoO

"Oi, fuck you, Keaton, what the hell was that?" 

"It's called friendly fire, mother fucker," Keaton snickered loudly, not taking his eyes off the screen in front of them. "Deal with it."

"We're on the same goddamn team, you little shit!" Wesley broke his concentration just long enough to reach over and slap Keaton's shoulder roughly before going right back into the game, cursing and muttering.

"I love you too, bro," Keaton's mouth was stretched into a grin, fingers flying over the buttons of his xbox controller. 

"Fuck," Wesley muttered softly, shoulders slumping when he died again- this time he didn't get a respawn. "You dick, Keaton."

"Not my fault you suck-" the younger brother went to say, but Wesley tackled him to the floor, the controller flying across the room. "What the fuck!"

Keaton's character died within a matter of seconds and Wesley grinned proudly. That'd teach the brat to shoot his own brother. "Friendly fire, motherfucker," he repeated Keaton's earlier words, smirking. "Deal with it."

"Bastard!" Keaton lurched up and grabbed his shirt, trying to flip him onto his back. Wesley could have resisted but he didn't, allowing himself to be rolled over and snickering when Keaton glared down at him. "Fight back, dude. There's no point if you don't fight back."

"Exactly," Wesley laughed and wriggled around, getting himself comfortable. "You can stay there if you like, I don't mind."

Keaton let out a frustrated huff of air before climbing to his feet and stomping back over to the couch. "You're no fun anymore, Wesley."

The elder brother shrugged, seeing no reason to move and staying on his spot on the ground, staring up at the bleached white ceiling. "You're the one that started it."

"Hmph," the lighter brunet crossed his arms over his chest and there was a short silence before he spoke again. "So, how are you and Drew? Haven't had a relationship update from either of you in a while."

Wesley didn't take his eyes off the ceiling, the mention of his boyfriend's name distracting him for a moment. Drew was out on a coffee run with one of the girls from Fifth Harmony and they were bound to be back pretty soon. "We're going good, I think."

"Yeah?" Keaton propped his chin up on the arm rest of the couch and looked at him, raising his eyebrows. "No more jealousy or things like that?"

Wesley made a face and shot his brother a look. "Had to bring that up, didn't you?"

"I was just asking," the younger boy said with a shrug.

"Whatever," Wesley sighed and looked away again. "Nah, no more jealousy."

Which was a relief, because after the Kyle stint, the Vincent Thomas stint, the Demi Lovato stint (and the disturbing Simon Cowell stint that Wesley never wanted to think about ever again), he didn't think he could handle more jealousy between them. They were just too possessive over each other, and Wesley was starting to get sick of it. 

"Well, that's good," Keaton said brightly. "Have you two fucked yet?"

"Keaton!" the darker brunet spluttered, rolling over to face his brother and give him a horrified look. "Don't just- you can't- that's none of your fucking business!"

"So… you have, then?" 

"No, we haven't!" Wesley found his cheeks burning and he pushed himself to his feet so he could stomp away to the opposite side of the room and hide it. "If you're so fucking curious, I'll have you know that we've tried several times but I keep freaking out so we have to stop. Are you happy now?"

There was silence from behind him and he turned to see Keaton looking awkward and regretful, and when they made eye contact the younger teen patted the seat beside him on the couch. "Shit, I'm sorry, Wes. Wanna talk about it?"  

Wesley sighed and made his way over, dropping down onto the cushion beside his brother and slumping low, staring blankly at the television screen so he wouldn't have to see Keaton's sympathetic expression. "Not much to say, really. I pretty much described it all in one go."

Keaton made a humming noise and his voice was a little sad when he spoke. "It's fucking up your relationship, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Wesley ducked his head and tried not to get emotional about it, but it was true. He knew that Drew wouldn't hold it against him or leave him because of it, but he just felt so damn guilty that he was actually kind of thinking maybe it'd be better to let the blond go. Their relationship couldn't be healthy and Drew deserved better. "I've tried, over and over, to be able to trust him with this but I just can't. I can't let him take over again."

Keaton nibbled on his lower lip and was quiet for a few moments, looking thoughtful. "Why don't you take over, then?"

Wesley blinked and looked over at him, confused. "What?"

His younger brother shrugged. "Well, I get the feeling that Drew's the one who usually…" he waved a hand awkwardly. "You know, tops? And I figure maybe that's why you can’t handle it. I mean, think about it. You trusted him with yourself all those years ago, right? Maybe its his turn to entrust himself to you."

"God damn it, has Drew been putting all that Ghandi spiritual shit in your head again?" Wesley quipped.

"Just think about it," Keaton laughed. 

Wesley stared at him, frowning a little at the thought. He'd never even considered it, but it was worth a shot, right? He didn't want to lose Drew, not after he'd only just gotten him back. Maybe his problem was the fact he didn't like Drew being on top. He'd thought he enjoyed the blond being rough and dominant, being the one to be on him and in him, but each and every time he ended up having a panic attack. Maybe that wouldn't happen if he was the one who took control. "I suppose…" 

"Come on, don't be the girl in the relationship," Keaton reached over and punched his arm. "You're a man! Look at those muscles! Just because Drew's bigger doesn't mean he has to be on top all the time."

Wesley ended up snorting with laughter, batting his brother's hand away where it was squeezing his bicep which had gotten more pronounced now that he'd been working out for a while. "You have a point, Keaters. Surprisingly."

The lighter brunet leaned back into the couch with a smug smile, crossing his arms. "You're damn right I do, and I am never letting you two break up so you're going to have to find a way to get around this."

The older brother furrowed his brow a bit. "You do realize you're not actually part of this relationship, right?"

Keaton only stared at him and Wesley couldn't help but think if there was one person who had to be part of it, it would be Keaton.

OoO

Wesley paced the empty room nervously, stopping every now and again to check his watch, or his phone, or that his nightstand was stocked with lube and condoms. Maybe he was being too optimistic about this, but he was going to try out Keaton's idea and he was going to be prepared if things went his way.

If Drew ever fucking showed up, that is.

The eighteen year old sighed and turned to face the door again, foot tapping nervously. Keaton had agreed to stay out of the shared room for as long as needed, and he'd promised not to come up until Wesley had sent him a text saying it was okay. They had nothing planned for tonight and none of them were tired so Drew probably wouldn't be wanting to go to sleep or anything like that. Everything had been planned out- now all Wesley needed was his goddamned boyfriend.

Drew had been outside by the pool, teaching Keaton a few chords on the guitar for a new song, but Wesley had asked him to come up to their room in a few minutes so they could talk, and that had been around ten minutes ago. Surely the blond should have shown up by now, and the younger teen was starting to feel a little stupid. Drew wouldn't actually stand him up, would he?

His phone vibrated in his hand and he flipped it open quickly, scanning the text he'd gotten from Keaton.  _Heads up, stud, Drew's on his way up. Have fun, keep the noise down._

Wesley made a face, half irritated at his brother and half thankful for the warning. He sent back a hurried  _love you, you prick_ before pacing the room again, having a hard time breathing in the moderately sized room. He really wanted to open the fucking window but he couldn't risk any sounds carrying outside to where other contestants were lounging around by the pool. 

He heard the door being unlocked and then opened, and he whirled around to see Drew coming in, shooting him a warm smile as he shut the door behind him. Wesley licked his lips nervously and met the nineteen year old's blue eyes. "Can you lock it again, please?"

Drew raised an eyebrow in question but did as he was told, flicking the lock into place before dropping the key onto a little table that was kept by the door for exactly that purpose. He stared at Wesley, seeming to notice the tension in the room. "What's up? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, uhm, everything's fine," Wesley rubbed damp hands against his jeans and cursed himself for being so nervous. He'd never had to initiate anything like this before. "I just wanted to… uh, try something."

"Try something?" Drew repeated, coming further into the room and dropping down onto his bed, sitting on the edge of it and fixing the brunet with a curious look. "Try what?"

"Well, I just thought," Wesley cleared his throat and crossed his arms to try and keep his hands from fidgeting, "that, uhm, every time I have my little freak outs, you tend to be in control."

Drew frowned a little bit in confusion before his face cleared, seemingly understanding what Wesley was referring to. "Well, yeah. I'm always in control."

"Exactly," Wesley nodded, not quite meeting his eyes. "And I was thinking-" okay technically it had been Keaton who was thinking but whatever, he didn't want to talk about his brother while he was propositioning his boyfriend. "-that maybe I wouldn't freak out if I were… you know… in control."

Drew stared at him for a few seconds, expression unreadable. "You want to be in control? As in, you want to top?"

Wesley swallowed and nodded again, not trusting his voice.

"Alright then," the blond caught his eyes and smiled encouragingly. "Go ahead, I'm okay with it."  

The eighteen year old blinked a few times, biting his lip. "Really?" 

"Really," Drew grinned at him before falling silent, watching him expectantly.

Wesley knew what the blond was waiting for and he wanted to cross the distance and do what they'd just agreed on- to take control, to be the dominant one- but he just couldn't force his body to. He stayed rooted to the spot, staring back at Drew with wide eyes.

Eventually the nineteen year old chuckled and it was enough the make Wesley huff out a breath. "Shut up, Chadwick, I've never done this before."

Drew smiled at him and shook his head. "You don't have to force yourself into this. It’s a good idea, but we can try it out later if you're not ready right now."

The younger boy rolled his eyes, touched by how sweet his boyfriend was but honestly getting a little sick of the 'I can wait until you're ready' speech. He seized some shred of courage that he didn't know he had and strode forward, closing the distance between them and cupping Drew's face in his hands. Because the blond was sitting, Wesley was essentially above him and was looking down while the older teen looked up. "I want to try it now."

Drew's hands settled lightly on his hips but didn't push or pull, just stayed there. "Alright."

Wesley took a breath and leaned down, pressing their lips together. Almost immediately his nervousness seemed to fade. It was still there, lurking in the background, but with Drew's hands on him and mouth pliant under his, it could be easily ignored. 

After a moment he eased back, still close enough to breathe each other's air, but kept his eyes closed. He could feel Drew's rough stubble under his palms and the man's smooth forehead pressed against his own. "Just… help me through this, okay? I really don't want to hurt you."

"Wes," Drew murmured, hands running up Wesley's sides and then down again. "You're not gonna hurt me, you're doing fine. But I'll need a little while to get ready, okay?"  

Wesley breathed out and nodded, stepping back. Drew grabbed his bag from the closet and took it with him into the bathroom. Wesley sat back on the bed and tried to get a hold of himself, tried not to think too much about what they were going to do, about what it would mean if he couldn’t go through with it.

He stood up when Drew came back in, the blond smiling at him easily and shoving his bag back in the closet. "Alright?" he asked, pressing a kiss to the younger teen's temple. 

Wesley nodded silently before gently pushing the older male back onto the bed, waiting only a moment before he climbed up on top and straddled Drew's hips. It was different to be in this position, not bad necessarily, but different. He couldn't say he didn't miss being pinned down by the blond's weight, that that would come later, if this worked out. For now, he settled for reaching over to the side table and pulling out the lube and condoms he'd stashed there earlier that day.

"Prepared," Drew commented idly, gaze flicking from the supplies to Wesley's eyes and back again. "You gonna lube me up?"

Wesley let out a shuddering breath and nodded, reaching for the cap of the lube, but Drew caught his wrists, large frame shaking with suppressed laughter. "You'll have to get us undressed first, love."

Wesley scowled at him and dropped the lube and condoms on the bed next to the pillow. "Shut up, Drew," he muttered, fingers going to the blond's shirt and unbuttoning it. "I'm nervous, you know that."

Drew grinned and let him do what he wanted, pliant under his hands. "Yeah, I know. Sorry." He didn't look sorry, though, just warm and inviting. 

Wesley got the shirt unbuttoned and shifted back so Drew could sit up and shrug it off, and the brunet got to work on his jeans almost straight away. He'd seen Drew's chest plenty of times (made easy by the fact the blond seemed to have an aversion to wearing shirts) and he could take more time on it later. Now, he just wanted to hurry everything up and go through with it before he had a panic attack.

By the time Drew was in his briefs, Wesley's shirt had been discarded and both of them were breathing heavily. He could feel Drew's half-hard cock pressing into him and instead of making him anxious it was kind of a heady feeling. 

Wesley climbed off him and stood by the bed, knowing it'd be far too difficult to take off his jeans while still on the bed. "Briefs," he instructed quietly, pulling at the elastic waistband of Drew's briefs and letting it snap back against the teenager's skin. Drew pushed them off easily as Wesley stripped down and suddenly they were both naked and it was too hot in the room.

"Come here,” Drew pulled him back onto the bed, kissing him gently as if he'd sensed Wesley's sudden nerves. He probably had. 

Wesley took in a shuddering breath once they broke apart and he nodded once, steeling himself. He could do this. It was just sex. Drew wouldn't ever hurt him again, and he'd be fine. "Legs," he said softly, patting Drew on the thigh. The blond obliged, spreading them enough for Wesley to get in between. "Pass me the lube?"

"Doing okay?" Drew asked as he grabbed the bottle and handed it to him.

Wesley forced a smile and nodded. "I'm fine. Just…" he hesitated. "Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop."

Drew rolled his eyes. "I know that."

Wesley ignored him and uncapped the lube, slicking up three fingers. He dropped the bottle and slid his hand up Drew's leg, finding his hole and circling it with his fingers, just getting it slick on the outside. Drew's breath hitched at the touch but he still looked relaxed and trusting. 

Wesley tried to remember when he'd had it done to him as he pushed the first finger inside, biting hard on his tongue at how tight it was. He knew Drew had never bottomed before, so it was to be expected, but he'd never realized just how tight the blond would be. Wesley had never even fingered himself before so on the whole he was just completely unprepared for how it would feel.

"Okay?" he asked, needing to make sure he wasn't going to hurt Drew. His dick was almost painfully hard now, but one word from Drew and he'd stop straight away.

"Yeah, think so," Drew answered, his earlier confidence toned down a little. He was frowning a bit but he didn't look like he was in pain. "Feels weird. Is this what it felt like for you?"

Wesley nodded with a small smile. "Yeah. Gets better, though. Just gotta get used to it." And find the prostate, he added mentally. That definitely helped.

He pulled his finger out again before pushing it back in, repeating the motion slowly and carefully. When he stopped feeling like his finger was being strangled, he added another, stopping once both were fully inside because Drew was making another face.

"Shit," the blond muttered.

"I can stop," Wesley reminded him.

"Don't," Drew shook his head. "Just… give me a second."

Wesley waited until the blond breathed out heavily and nodded. He started fucking Drew with his fingers slowly, giving him a chance to really get used to it before he shifted, changing the angle and crooking his fingers. It took him a lot longer than he expected to find the spot he was looking for, but eventually the older teen's hips bucked off the bed and Wesley had to hold him down.

"Holy shit," Drew managed through gritted teeth. "Keep doing that."

Wesley bit his lip hard to try and ignore his cock, desperate for some kind of release after the way Drew's face had looked. He continued the finger fucking, brushing Drew's spot every second or third time and it did wonders, the blond loosening up around him as he cursed and groaned on the sheets. 

"More," Drew gasped out after a long stretch of time where Wesley had kind of blocked out everything but his task. 

The brunet added a third finger and Drew hissed, definitely looking like he was in pain this time. But he said nothing, so Wesley didn't stop, instead leaning forward to lick a stripe up the blond's cock to distract him. 

"Jesus!" Drew's entire body shuddered, fingers curling in Wesley's hair. "Fuck."

Wesley closed his eyes and took the head into his mouth, relaxing because this was something he knew how to do. They'd done it plenty of times three years ago, and although he hadn't done it since, it was still easy to fall back into rhythms he knew Drew liked. 

Once he'd found the other boy's spot again, things got supremely easier, Drew opening up around him as he continued to moan and writhe. Eventually the blond tugged him off by the hair, cheeks flushed. "Fuck, not gonna last if you keep that up."

Wesley grinned at him, more relaxed now and less nervous. He kept his fingers moving even as he watched Drew's expressions. "Too easy," he teased.

"Shut up, Wes," Drew tried to scowl but he ended up moaning when Wesley upped the pace of his fingers a little. "Shit, okay, stop, just hurry up and fuck me."

Wesley's grin widened and he let his fingers slide out, reaching for the condom and lube again. He couldn't tear open the wrapper with his slippery fingers so Drew had to do it for him, taking the packet out of his hands and then rolling the condom over his cock once he'd gotten it out. Wesley hissed at the contact, the most he'd gotten so far. 

"Hurry up, Wes," Drew muttered, pushing impatiently at his hair that looked a little damp with sweat. 

Wesley rolled his eyes and used a bit more of the lube to slick up his dick, and then he was lining up with Drew's entrance, hesitating with the head pressed right up against the older boy's skin. "You're sure?" he asked.

"If you don't do it right now, I swear to god-" Drew broke off with a gasp when Wesley thrust in, but the brunet could do nothing to tease him because everything was focused on how fucking tight and wet the blond was, squeezing around his cock so much he had a hard time concentrating.

He forced himself too, though, because Drew's face was twisted with pain and Wesley didn't like it. He took a few deep breaths before leaning down and kissing the blond, distracting him as best he could. It took a moment for Drew to kiss back, and Wesley wrapped a hand around the blond's dick and jerked slowly, not slowing on the kiss to try and ease the discomfort of being forced open.

Eventually Drew's body relaxed and he nodded once, so Wesley broke the kiss and drew back a little before thrusting in again, fingers tight around Drew's hip and cock. The blond looked like he'd had his breath punched out of him, but there wasn't any more signs of discomfort in his expression so Wesley figured it was okay enough to keep moving. 

He shifted his hips a little and the change in angle made Drew's breath hitch in pain, but they were lucky it also let Wesley hit his spot and the pain quickly faded. Things got heated after that, the brunet trying to keep that angle and jerk Drew off at the same time, because he knew he wouldn't last long and he wanted to bring the other teen off quickly.

He bit Drew's shoulder when he came, body seizing up at the sheer force of his orgasm, and it wasn't long before he could feel the blond's come splashing over his hand, Drew cursing loudly over his head. 

OoO

They weren't really much for cuddling, but Wesley let his fingers trace over Drew's hip absently as they lay side by side on the bed, both staring up at the ceiling and trying to recover. "Looks like your idea worked," Drew commented after a while, still sounding a little puffed.

"Keaton's idea, actually," Wesley admitted, turning his head to get a look at the blond's face. "That wasn't too bad, right? You liked it?"

"Not the worst I've had," Drew said seriously, before his face broke out into a grin and he rolled on top of Wesley, kissing him soundly. "It was good, Wes. Seriously."

Wesley rolled his eyes but didn't push him off. Drew was heavy but the weight was nice, certainly not more than he could handle. "So you'd be okay with, y'know, bottoming for the time being?"

Drew let out a little snort, not exactly attractive when their faces were so close. "If its like that all the time, then hell yeah I'm okay with it," he paused and shifted his hips with a small frown. "Feels a bit sore, though."

Wesley grinned, barely holding back a snicker. "Yeah, you're gonna be feeling that tomorrow."

"I'm expecting breakfast in bed," Drew said, fighting his own grin.

"Oh, you want the royal treatment?" Wesley raised his eyebrows, and it hit him that he was so unbearably happy. He never wanted to lose Drew, never wanted to go another day without seeing him, laughing with him, kissing him. They could have sex if they played it right, kept Wesley from freaking out, and the brunet was starting to think maybe he'd be enough for Drew. Maybe he'd be able to keep him.

"Of course I want the royal treatment," Drew scowled, but it was obviously fake. "We have to sit on stools for the next performance and we have rehearsals _all_ day tomorrow."

"Should've thought about that before you let me fuck you."

OoO

It was too much for them to expect Wesley to be able to handle the pressure, the nerves and anxiety. Not to mention being on tv and getting criticized about almost every move they made. Drew had a thick skin and could handle all of the comments, and Keaton was pretty chill about it, but Wesley tended to take them to heart.

Being criticized by the judges for a performance that Simon had _promised_  them would go down well, however, was probably the last straw. Drew had been out the next morning on the usual coffee run, and then he'd been dragged to the giant rec room for a game of pool with Tate. After that they'd had rehearsals for almost four hours straight, and when they took a break for lunch Wesley had opted to stay behind and eat something provided by Simon rather than go out to eat with Drew and Keaton.

It wasn't until dinner time that the blond really had a chance to slow down and look at Wesley, and he almost wanted to hit himself because he knew as soon as he saw the brunet's expression. 

"Wes, why aren't you eating?" Camilla asked curiously, staring across the table at Wesley who hadn't touched his dinner. Once she'd spoken, everyone at the table turned to openly stare at the brunet, who looked uncomfortable under their gazes.

Drew and Keaton met each other's eyes from their spots on either side of Wesley and they stood almost simultaneously, grabbing their own plates as well as Wesley's. "It's too stuffy in here," Keaton said, falsely cheerful, in an attempt to answer Camilla's question. "We're going to go eat outside, maybe go over our next song."

Drew tried to be subtle about pulling Wesley up but it was obvious that the brunet was almost unresponsive, slipping into the kind of dazed out depressed state he usually got into whenever he went a long time without eating. "C'mon, babe," he murmured quietly, tugging at Wesley's arm. "Just come outside with us."

Wesley hesitated before nodding, obviously not wanting to stay inside with the entire table staring at them like they were some kind of reality television show. He followed Drew out onto the patio where Keaton was already standing, and the light brunet looked a mix of worried and furious.

"How long haven’t you been eating?" he demanded as soon as the door was shut and they were alone. 

"Guys, come on, I ate lunch," Wesley denied, but Drew saw right through it and he knew Keaton did too.

"Bullshit," Drew passed his plate over to Keaton before grabbing Wesley and pulling him into his arms, squeezing tight to try and drag him out of his state. "Wes, dude, no one expects you to be perfect. We know you relapsed, its okay to admit it."

Wesley breathed out shakily against his chest, fingers digging harshly into Drew's sides. "I might've skipped dinner last night," he said hesitantly. "And breakfast today. And lunch."

Drew nodded and pushed Wesley back a bit so he could look at him. "Wesley," he said quietly. "I know things have been shit lately. Simon wont let us do our own songs and he keeps making us sing that pop crap that no one likes. I know people on Facebook and twitter have been royal dicks, but we can't go through this again."

Keaton stepped closer, hands free because he'd put all three of their plates down on one of the benches by the door. "Remember our deal?" he asked softly, pushing up his sleeves and showing his pale arms, free of any cuts. "You eat and I don't hurt myself. That's what we agreed on, Wesley, don't go back on me now."

"I know," Wesley looked at Keaton and his face just crumpled. "Fuck, I know. I just… I don't like the way they talk about me, I don't like the way they talked about my body when I took off my shirt and I-"

Drew cut him off, pulling him back in for a hug and talking over him. "Wesley, you are one of the most attractive people I've ever met. People say the exact same shit about me and Keaton, but that doesn't make you think that we're unattractive, right?"

Wesley shook his head silently and Keaton smiled, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "You know there are like three times as many people wanting to fuck you, right?" he asked. "You should see some of the things they say. Some of them are really… explicit with their words."

Drew refrained from making a comment at that, trying to rein in the automatic jealous flare. "Come on," he said instead, leading Wesley over to the bench where their dinners were slowly cooling. "Let's eat before this shit gets cold."

Wesley sat down and took the plate easy enough, but he didn't take any bites straight away and Drew had to nudge him to get his attention.

"Eat, Wes, come on," he said softly. "I love you, but I'm not above force feeding you if that's what it takes."

Wesley gulped and looked at him, smiling a little hesitantly. "I love you too," he said, and reached out to grab a chip and take a tiny bit of it, chewing and swallowing.

"There you go."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr [here.](http://www.genuinelystylinson.tumblr.com)  
> Find me on wattpad [here.](http://www.wattpad.com/user/TableForThree)
> 
> (note: the other three stories in this series are on that wattpad account.)
> 
> There you go! Sorry this took so long, anon, to post. The formatting got all weird when I tried to upload it so I had to manually go through and fix it, which took forever. (Also there's probably words that are supposed to be in italics but the formatting changed them so. Yeah.)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, feel free to let me know what you thought!
> 
> Also I wrote that smut scene a while ago so don't judge me on that. I didn't have a very good grasp on how anal sex really worked back then.


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